CO129-425 - Governor Sir May - 1915 [10-12] — Page 682

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nearly could not anymore do without it.

0, I thank the Lord that

yet I could find the moral strength to fras myself of this Morphia-

Devil. It made me sick but I resisted. And now I must be short

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defend myself.

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bas Težkov sa seter verg bis (3) gal ́ed vol 1ecym Detɛi bas qurb

I am going to accuse myself, to confess not to

But I must make clear,

I wow. Yes, by an intense conviction, by a supreme will, that

Much money.

I must have money. Money for my poor, dear wife first of all but

A

than money too to avow my further life to avenge me on the Dutch

Government.

Ex-

I

I write

I write all this down, just as my thoughts come to my pên.

Excuse me, when I am dark and this confession is confounded.

cuse me, Sir, when my English is bad. I cannot batter it.

cannot think about embellishing or beautifying my style.

thin all down with a bleeding heart, humiliated and disgusted

myself. 0, don't read this with cold, pitiless eyes

In July 1915 I was a Doctor in political economy.

begin with my revenge. I had a fixed purpose. I would settle

Now I would

my self in Singapore and continue my revolutionary propaganda in

But now Java, of which the Dutch Goverment was rightly afraid.

I would atirr up the population, writing in all the vernacular and

It would be work for years, decades. Never seditious pavers.

0, I could die con- mind. My hatred waa strong enough to walt.

Never mind, tented, when I only had the Revolution in moving.

whether I would see the result, or the next generation.

May, I would now begin, but I wanted money.

And I had nothing.

As a tue revolutionist and individualist I had never had an eye

I never bad hunted after money.

for the practical side of things.